M, I think you described the situation very well--especially in this: "It's confusing, contradictory, and downright odd." That's how it goes in this kind of situation--you find that you have difficulty explaining it to others because that's part of the dysfunction that's seeped in. While an immediate move may not be possible, there are things you can do to protect and take care of yourself in this environment. The post I wrote on 6 Positive Professional Development Strategies for the Toxic Workplace (http://www.michelemmartin.com/thebambooprojectblog/2011/08/six_positive_professional_development_strategies_for_the_toxic_workplace.html) includes a link to dealing with the toxic workplace that might be helpful.
You are also going to have to do some work to help yourself get back that "spunky, strong woman," because I've found what when you've been in a Kafka-esque place, the impacts can follow you in ways you don't realize until you start trying to interview.
Even if there are no openings right now, one of the best things you can do is to start meeting with and talking with people from all over, developing your network and developing a sense of new possibilities. This can also help you raise your spirits and feel more in control of things. And consider maybe taking your skills to other industries. I don't know your background, but it might be that you can find something that is a good match for you.
Good luck and I'm glad this post helped!
